Day 8 – The Piano is Dangerous (and Other Mishaps)

For as long as I remember, I’ve been acutely aware of my hands / fingers (or phalanges if it pleases you). Yet, somehow that doesn’t prevent me from temporarily inflicting damage on them.

Dr. Regina Phalange

Surprisingly, the majority of injuries sustained were to my non-dominant (right) hand.

The exception (avoided injury): My mother and stepfather (at the time) bought me a G-Shock watch that I loved as a teenager. One day, I was helping the stepfather move some woodworking equipment. I lost my grip and the machinery came down on my watch. Had it not been for that watch, I’m pretty sure I would have broken my wrist. I miss that watch.

I periodically didn’t clip my nails short enough, so my fingernails on my right-hand would occasionally get caught between keys. I always told my kids that the piano was ‘biting me’. Not an injury, just obnoxious.

During high school, I bruised a tendon in my right thumb while playing with the jazz band. It was a fast piece, lots of chord comping. Had a fun time. A bit sore later.

Also during high school, I plugged in a frayed extension cord and got a good shock to the right-hand.

Also during high school (I’m seeing a pattern here), I was thrown off the hood of a car (as a joke), and broke my wrist. Amusingly enough, that led to joining the drum line in college where we almost got arrested the first day of practice.

During the summer (between years in high school), I ran the tip of my thumb through a meat slicer at work. I probably shouldn’t have chosen a job with blades.

Some years later, I was in a car wreck where the airbag deployed and forced my left hand into the drivers side window, and my right hand into the face of ex-wife number one. That happened on my mom’s birthday.

I was cooking breakfast one morning in a daze, and accidentally put 3 of my fingertips in hot grease.

I THINK that was it.

Left-hand: 1, Right-hand: 5

I’d really like to think that will be the final score for the rest of my life.